Health and wellness have become an absolute obsession for me…I couldn’t stop if I wanted to…and I don’t want to. The more I learn the more amazed that I am with what the body can do…and not just mine…I know personally and have read the stories of so many others who have transformed their lives and overcome diseases by making better choices...sometimes my changes have been small and others have been very huge…but I’ve received the guidance and support at every challenge. I don’t think that you’re here by accident either…nothing happens by mistake…so again, I welcome you and am happy you are checking this out.

When she got into her late 60’s or maybe she had turned 70, she found out she had diabetes and had to take insulin shots… she even made this fun…she had a Fred Flintstone doll that “took” the shots with her…(she’d put a pin in his leg for the leg she gave herself the shot in so she wouldn’t forget where she had the last shot). She also developed psoriasis…a terrible scaly and very itchy rash like stuff…on the bottoms of her feet. She quit drinking beer and smoking cigarettes…then gained a lot of weight…and the psoriasis got worse…she was always in pain and miserable…for about the last 5 years of her life, her diseases seemed to be competing with the other…she was supposed to exercise to lose some weight for her diabetes and the pressure on her feet, but because her feet hurt, she wanted to stay off of them and would gain more weight….it just seemed to get worse and worse all the time until she died.

Shortly after my Gramma died, my aunt developed psoriasis too…and quite a bit younger than my Gramma….she had also quit smoking…I think she had the psoriasis first though….she tried even more things than Gramma did trying to get rid of it….she loved Pepsi and was an awesome cook and fun person too….I have a reason for telling you what peopled liked to eat and drink….she also gained quite a bit of weight after quitting smoking and did not seem as healthy as she did as a smoker…8 years staying off cigarettes…and it was a battle…she got cancer anyway and it took her very quickly…less than a month from the diagnosis.

My mother…different blood line…but still in mine also loved to eat, drink and smoke…she never tried to stop…at 48 or 49 she was diagnosed with cancer and lived with it for 7 or 8 years before dying of it at 56…she loved sugar…lived on it and I don’t remember her eating fruits or vegetables unless they were smothered with whipped cream or a glaze or some other syrupy stuff. She also hung onto resentments, she had an emotionally painful life and was never really able to release the toxic emotions and feelings.

Before I could catch my breath on this my Dad who had quit smoking for quite a few years had a mass on his lung that turned out to be lung cancer…he died 11 days later, he was 64 and only 2 months away from retirement. He was probably the most stable and safe person in my life other than my husband who I am so grateful for. There’s no way to describe how this all felt…the rug was pulled out from under me…I was devastated, abandoned…well I’m sure you can imagine…it was a very dark world…very dark. My dad also loved to drink, eat…I already said smoke…and his idea of a vegetable was to open a can of corn, take out a tablespoon and we’re good for the week. I really didn’t know that there was anything wrong…really wrong with this way of living…it was how we did it…it was how we bonded and we all enjoyed it.

Three months after my Dad died, my Grandpa got lung cancer too and died. They say that death in a family either brings people closer together or it tears them apart…in my case…it tore us apart…some key people and me….that added more pain. However, now I know in my heart that if it wouldn’t have happened, I would not have gone down the path that I did…I would have continued to do the things that I had done before with the people that I had done them with because it was how I knew how to cope. In my desperation I reached out to God….I was spiritual before…but now I needed Him like I needed air. My husband and kids have been there with me too….I can’t express enough with words how important they are to me, we’ve been on this journey together.

I learned by the time that I was 25…actually 17, but needed more confirmation…that I had a problem with drinking I had no control over the amount that I would consume or what I would say or do. I witnessed what it had done to other people close to me and decided I’d get off that ride now….I did this by going to AA…still do…in fact I just celebrated 15 years…thank you God ?. I would discuss the hard time I was having with all of trauma with my family and the deaths…someone suggested that I say the 7th step prayer…I went home and started saying the 3rd…when I told him, he reminded me that it was the 7th…so I said them both…and added one more….the Prayer of Jabez…I didn’t really think that much or anything would happen but I did it anyway….Here are the prayers:

• God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self so that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy way of Life. My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do Your bidding. Amen.
• Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory. That Your hand would be with me, that You would keep me from evil and not allow me to cause pain.

At the time I started this path I was hooked on nicotine gum…it took me almost 10 years to totally quit smoking/nicotine. I would stop for up to two months at times but would need so much sleep and when I was awake, my energy level was so low I was barely making it. I would usually have something with sugar in it or some coffee for the pick me up but it wouldn’t last long…eventually it didn ‘t work much at all. I went back to the nicotine gum quite a few times just so I could function. The last attempt I made at it I was about 7-10 days without nicotine and liquid vitamins kept coming up some way or somehow.

I had talked to a woman about 2 or 3 months earlier about them, they sounded hopeful, but when she told me how much they cost…it would have been over $100 per month…I decided against it. A different product from the same company came up that was $50 for a month…about what I paid for the nicotine gum for 2 weeks…I tried it…after about 3 days my energy started coming back…I felt better and better as the weeks went by…I thought…”OK, here’s the answer to all of my problems!” Of course it ended up not being the answer to all of my problems…but it was a good start. I had my family taking them quickly after I started as well, my husband and son were pretty healthy at that time but my daughter would get everything that was going around school, she really was getting sick every other week…with what I know now and what she was going through…I am so grateful for getting all of the knowledge that I am going to be sharing with you.

Anyway, my wonderful daughter is now very healthy and rarely gets sick, when she has over the last 4 years, it was very minimal and quick. It was around August of 2004 that we all started with the vitamins…and enjoyed the benefits. As the holiday’s approached though I still did my normal routines with the sugary and starchy foods…and thinking that the vitamins were my answer, that I was no longer going to have problems, I ate even more than normal. I don’t know if it was just before or just after Christmas where the scales said 205…I panicked, then told myself it was just water, I sucked in real hard, looked in the mirror…twisted and tilted just right so I could look smaller...and said, yes, it’s just water, I’m sure that I don’t weigh that much…I’m 5’4”…I think I was that big around too. During that time, I was listening to Tony Robbins…I love that guy…and he was talking about removing toxins by going on a fast and drinking a “green drink”. It made sense to me so I went to the health food store, bought some green drink and decided to fast with this until the weight was gone…I made it about 2 ½ days then broke my fast at Wendy’s…not a good idea…painful to the digestive system…that started me on yet another binge…after all I had gone 2 ½ days without food, I could afford it….and totally enjoyed it…however, several days later when I had regained all of the weight I lost and was feeling like a stuffed pig again, I found myself sitting in my closet crying and asking God, “What’s wrong with me?”

My husband and I were going to a church that promoted a 21 day fast starting Jan 1…it was 3 days with a green drink followed by 18 of the “Daniel fast”…no bread, wine…no problem there…and no animal products. The difference here was to pray and fast…pray for spiritual breakthrough, the release of strongholds, people, etc. I was on board and excited…this was definitely going to work…I just knew it. One of the things that I prayed for was to get control of my food, weight problem, whatever this was. I made it the first 3 days with the green drink…there was a group at the church where we went to get the reinforcement on why we were doing it…and of course, prayer…this gave me a reason to do it. When the 3 days were done, I found that I had no trouble sticking to the Daniel fast…in fact, I was feeling pretty good, and my family was very supportive…my husband decided not to do the fast…but cheered me on. My birthday is Jan 18 and to be supportive instead of a cake my husband made me a birthday rice pudding…brown rice with raisins and natural fructose. He made it the night before my birthday so I “tried” it in the morning…it was good…I had a serving…after about 20 minutes…it was just “calling” me…so I had another…then it was calling me again…so I had another…it was all gone by 10:00 am…I (and he) said that it was ok because it was my birthday. For dinner, we went to the “Mongolian BBQ”, it’s fun, you pick your own meat, vegetables, sauces, etc and they cook it…I brought my own brown rice, ate tofu and vegetables…put on sauce….that was full of sugar…I didn’t know it at the time…and I’m not sure that I would have understood what a problem that was…other than I was supposed to stay away from it on the Daniel fast…processed sugar…remember the fructose is natural?.

That night on the way home, I got junk food…I was craving it so bad and convinced myself and my family that I deserved it because it was my birthday…and totally enjoyed it…and enjoyed it the next day and the next and the next…until the stuffed pig was crying in the closet again asking God what was wrong with me….I was starting to see a pattern with the sugar…I just didn’t understand yet what to do with it. I found another “diet” that allowed 5 or 6 meals…I don’t remember…what I do remember though is that you could have a small piece of candy…like a bite size candy bar or ½ of a Little Debbie or something similar with most of the meals…I thought this is the one…this will give me enough sugar so I don’t feel deprived…it will work. It worked great the first week…I lost 5lbs by Friday…I started of course on Monday…so I let myself have an extra candy after dinner as a reward…then another…then the rest of the candy sleeve, then the other candy sleeve, then the rest of the Little Debbies, then I thought, “oh, what the heck, I’ve already blown it…I’ll have Wendy’s for dinner” Then the party in my mouth went on through the weekend. On Monday I was a stuffed pig again on the scale…I had gained 7 lbs in two and a half days…and was back in the closet crying.

I had thought that I was going to a Compulsive Eaters Anonymous meeting. I got the courage up to call someone that I kind of knew…but didn’t really…who I thought was in that program…it was very humbling. She told me that there was a meeting that night…so I went.

God definitely answered my prayers in that fast…I still do the fasts…but in a way that I can stick to the food plan…juice…and I’ve learned the health benefits of this too…and I will share those with you as well. This is the 3rd winter that I have been in size 2’s and 4’s…I started busting out of size 18’s. I have a wonderful caring sponcer who helped me to face the feelings I was stuffing and running from and feel safe, hopeful and excited about life. You may not have the addiction to the extent that I did, but I’m sure that you can still benefit from the other healthy pillars in this website…we will however talk about sugar and it’s effects on the body and how it contributes and fuels diseases…I have been especially interested in the ones that effected my family members…I wish I knew then what I know now…but I know that my knowledge is because of what happened. My story will continue with the pages in the site.

This site is for you as much as it is for me, so please, take what you need and leave the rest…like we say in the 12 step groups…we relate…not compare…if you’ve made it this far in the reading though, my guess is that we must have something in common…and I’m happy that you are walking this path with me. Let’s get healthy!